The other day, I spoke with two different sailors about two different issues. Neither of them are close friends of mine.
Person A greeted me cordially and then went about his business. Later on I ran into him, and we chatted about several things. This ended with a discussion about the very clever way he has rigged his mainsail halyard to make it easier to pull, using blocks. He calls it his "geezer halyard." He showed me exactly how he made it. He made sure I got safely on and off his boat, showed me how it was all set up, and let me try the halyard myself (easy with one hand -- I hope to have an article about it shortly, because it's not only "geezers" who have bad shoulders or backs).
Then there was Person B. I had sought out this person's advice because I respected his expertise. I did not know him well.
To my surprise, every single sentence I started got cut off in mid-stream without being finished. The conversation was immediately derailed to some thought that what I had said had triggered in his mind. The observations were always negative, and the comments always condescending. I was there to gather information, while he was there to prove that he knew more (uh -- no contest -- could we please move on?). This person still has no idea of what I know and do not know, what I have and have not done, and, I am quite certain, thinks he knows a great deal more about me as a sailor than he actually does. In fact the interchange ended with some really bad advice, that "with the kind of sailing I do" (something we didn't discuss) I "don't even need a chart plotter. Just use your cell phone."
Really? I should cross Florida Bay using a cell phone to navigate? I don't think so! There really isn't any cell phone reception out there. But we didn't discuss my intention to sail to the Tortugas one day.
So what was going on?
Well, both people wanted validation for their knowledge and expertise. Don't we all? One person has my renewed respect. He talked to me in a friendly and encouraging way. He has in fact done this since I first started sailing. We have never socialized outside the club, but he has been unfailingly supportive. He's never blown smoke up my skirt, and I came out of this exchange feeling validated as well. This very experienced man thought I was worth his finite time. He was patient and waited to see whether I understood. We both participated in that discussion and demonstration. Hopefully all of you will soon benefit from his generosity of spirit and have great pictures of his "geezer halyard," too. He got his validation from helping out someone with less experience than him.
In my opinion, the second person was so interested in getting validation that he lost track of the conversation. I would say something and he would actually say virtually the same thing not five minutes later, presenting it as something he was sure I didn't know. For instance, I pointed out that celestial navigation will not be a lot of use if caught in a hurricane. Not two minutes later he explained to me that one can't use celestial navigation in a hurricane. He simply was not hearing anything I had to say. He has walked away from our "conversation" remembering only what he thought up, because the only reason he listened to me was to find a new tangent to redirect the conversation to. Those new conversations always included assumptions (big assumptions) that I didn't know very basic things, followed by condescension. He got his validation by looking down his nose at someone else.
I'm not passing that cell phone "advice" on to you. Do NOT rely on a cell phone for navigation. It can be a backup, but you can't count on getting a signal. For instance, I know as a fact that I will get no cell phone signal off the coast of Venice, but the entrance into Venice Inlet is tricky and you need accurate information, and you may need it rapidly.
And there's the "smoke up your skirt" test: I don't know another sailor who would recommend a cell phone over a chart plotter. But it was a great put-down. The more important the advice you're being given is, the more necessary it is to double-check it.
Standard disclaimer applies: I'm not disparaging charts here, and I encourage people to use both charts and chart plotters. I encourage people to do things like put Navionics on their cell phones. Just don't *count* on it to be there when you have to make a five-second decision about where the sand bar is, because that might be exactly when you "drop carrier."
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